The Burning Leaf

Issue 1

Page 1
Full page spread: Surface world, sun visible, Titans fighting each other over a decimated city landscape, taller than the buildings, crushing and destroying everything in their wake as ant-size humans flee in panic.

Page 2
4 equal panels, dividing the page into 4 horizontal bars
Panel 1 – One Titan just clocks the other, he’s about to fall right onto some kind of tenement building and crush it
Panel 2 – Two 12-yr-old kids, 1 boy 1 girl, are putting obstacles in the path of a line of ants as they try to haul food back to their anthill
Panel 3 – Closer view of the Titan falling onto the tenement building, ant-size humans are jumping from the windows trying to flee before he crushes them
Panel 4 – The 12 yr old boy is jamming a stick down the hole in the anthill

Page 3
6 square equal panels
Panel 1 – the Titan is sprawled out on a destroyed building. A human has landed on him in the chaos.
Panel 2 – The downed Titan brushes off a human that landed on him, from the building. In the background, the other Titan readies a finishing blow.
Panel 3 – A close up of an ant on the child’s hand, the girls eye and face in the background as she studies the insect.
Panel 4 – The final blow is struck, causing a wave of fiery distraction that imolates the surrounding area.
Panel 5 – A low angle of the boy kicking the anthill, destroying it.
Panel 6 – A wider shot of the Titan standing in a a decimated town, a ring of destruction and human corpses are visible. A voice from off panel says “What do you two think you’re doing?”

Page 4
The first view of our heroine. A full page spread. (With a small box in the corner reserved for the kids reaction) She is standing with her hands on her hips. A scowl on her face. The children are in the foreground. A bustling village is in the background. She is wearing her everyday clothing. She says “how would you like it if I came and stomped on your home?” The boy hurumphs and crosses his arms, the girl looks sheepish. “You may not respect life but you will respect me!”

Page 5-6
A panoramic view of the village, people are out and about, doing their business, People are working, selling, chopping wood, gossiping etc. the village has been build in a large depression dug in the ground, the streets are dirt with a small amount if stone. The buildings are almost entirely made of straw. People wear earth tones mostly. I want there to be 4 different images of Nina and Priya (the 10 year old girl) as they walk through this scene. The girls interact with each other and the village people. At first Nina is dragging priya away. Nina says “how many times do I have to tell you, do not play with Willi Kahm-Conger. He is a bad influence on you.” Priya responds “I try Nina, but it’s hard making friends when your big sister is the Ancient One. They think you’ll show up and start bossing them around.” Nina: "priya… " A villager heralds “Oy! Good afternoon, Ancient One” Nina waves in an annoyed fashion. She says to Priya “I wish they’d stop calling me that.” Priya responds “But that’s what you are, the ancient one.” NINA: not you too? Priya: it’s should be an honor. Nina: one I didn’t ask for. Priya makes a grand gesture: Leader of the fire! Nina looks annoyed: this way torches, follow me! Priya: Binder of the leaf! Nina: don’t forget the twigs. Priya: Dawn bringer! Nina: Don lives down that street right? Priya: Soul seeker! Nina: Ghostbuster! Priya: Bane of the Beneath! Nina: come on. Seriously. All of those titles are ridiculous.

More dialog

Priya: they may seem ridiculous to you, but those titles are very important to our people. Nina: How did you get to be so smart? Priya: You weren’t the only one who had to memorize this stuff as a kid. Nina: that’s right. grandmother made you memorize it too. Priya: You’re the lucky one, to be chosen as her replacement. Nina: Chosen is the key word… Not asked. Priya: get over yourself, you are now the Ancient One, and leader of our people. Nina: Pfft, tell that to the Elder Council. They treat me like a 10 year old girl…. No offense. Priya: Look, today is your first major rite as Ancient One. Just go in there and make them take you seriously. Nina: Grandmother led so naturally. She spoke and the elders listened. Priya: Grandmother was Ancient One for 35 years, I’m sure she didn’t become great over night. Nina: yeah, but she wasn’t raised at the ripe old age of 17 like I was. Priya: Just because you are the youngest Ancient One in Kahm history, doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve their respect. Just follow your training and it will all be okay. Nina: I wish mother was here… Priya: Yeah, me too. the ground rumbles hey, you better hurry up and get ready. It’s almost time for the ritual. Nina: yeah, okay. Priya, waving to Nina as she hurries away: have fun summoning the village spirit! Nina internal monologue: All I have to do is summon the spirit… Right. If only it was that easy. If only there was a spirit to summon. If only I weren’t a fraud.

flashback. Then.
All dialog in this section will be Nina’s internal monologue. Nin and Priya are in a field, near the tree line. They are running playfullly. “there are some memories that fade with time, like what you ate for dinner that one time.” A shadow falls over Priya’s face, and she looks terrified. “Or that your mother told you to never range past the eastern feilds.” A creature lunges at them knocking them to the ground. “But other memories will be with you forever.” A woman tackles the creature from the side. The creature slashes her in the gut. then runs away. “No matter how much you want to forget them.” They stand over her, unsure what do to. “We didn’t even hear her yelling.” Nina dashes away. “I told Priya to stay with her, I’d get father, He’d know what to do.” I shot of her running flat out “I’d never run so fast. I heard Priya’s cries the whole way.” She reaches the village and appears to be yelling. “He didn’t say a word.” Nina stands alone, while others gawk. “He was gone for what seemed like an eternity.” He appears on the horizon, carrying a person, Priya follows behind. “When he came back, he was white as a spirit.” They meet at a house. “He gave me a weak smile.” “Don’t worry, he said.” He walks in, leaving Nina alone outside. “The spirits will save her.” end flashback

Setting Ritual hut interior. Seven men of all shapes and sizes are sitting in a circle. They are shirtless and all have hair of different length. Their facial and arm patterns are large and unique, powerful seeming perhaps. There is a fire in the middle of the hut and many shelves and wall hangings, perhaps spears, shields, etc…

The eldest of the elders, totally gray and bald with a long beard speaks. we need to think of cool stuff for here. The prophecy, the ritual, they must call the ancient one into the hut, Nina enters with her ridiculous ceremonial dress on. Se looks really embarrassed. Her dad winks at her, she blushes. We need to figure out her tricks, powder for the fire etc… As she works on her tricks, we can have her inner monologue in white, paired with the villains inner monologue in black. There is a bright flash, a loud crack, maybe a shock wave, the guardian bounces around the hut, knocking over many things, tossing dust into the air. He ends up sprawled on the ground, face up. Everyone is shocked, most of all Nina. I think we should show everyone’s shock before we reveal what made all the ruckus. The final page is a full page of the hut with everyone looking at the spirit. A white whispey version of a villager, perhaps with cool clothes. He says “it comes…. From beneath…” The villains monologue in black “I COME.”

End of issue 1

Comments

Dc and marvel books have 20 pages of content.

Issue 1
 

I think the next page should be an explanation of Nina’s duties to her sister (the girl). The girl thinks that her job is awesome(therefore explaining the duties and perhaps her extended title) and Nina is explaining why she hates it. The 6th page should be an inner monologue about the fact that the whole job is a sham, and no one knows it but her and her line. What do you think?

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Also, we should plan out some more detailed things that are going to happen in the future. Like what is this “arch” going to be about? When does it end. Where do we go? Who is the enemy, what is the problem? Etc.

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sounds good

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i was originally thinking the first 6-ish issue arc would be Nina and her kid sister learning to “make it” in the world, with her sister dying, but i like your idea better. maybe introduce the kid sister following her in issue 2, join them in issue 4 or 5?

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also, i’ve been thinking about the layout of the kids vs titans panels, and i don’t think that quadrants is right. maybe something like this:
Kids | Titans
Kids | Titans
Kids | Titans

or my idea for page 2:
Titans
Kids
Titans
Kids

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Page layouts are something that I am just winging, I’d love to collaborate on those (less pressure on me :p). If we add two more panels, we need 2 more things to do on them.

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Yeah, I was thinking the first arc would be Nina and Kennick solving the forest problem, with priya following them… I don’t know if we should have that be a secret, the cliffhanger on issue 6 is the reader and Nina finding out priya is following, and maybe end on a humorous note? Or with priya in danger…

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priya in danger is a great way to bridge arcs 1 and 2

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Ok, so we need to round out the cast of characters. We need villagers and elders, people that are trope-ish. Simple and well defined, people we can bring back later. We need a larger cast for Kahm and for the tree people village.

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Maybe issue 1 has a flashback to her mother being hurt, and that leads to her death… That could be more action… I kind of was hoping to keep the guardian a secret till the cliffhanger.

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Things the villain might say:

My journey will soon be complete.
Their existence shall cease.
At long last, it shall be mine.
Victory will be in out grasp.
Our time has come.
Our victory is nigh.
To the beneath I was cast.

Things the elders might say:

She who leads the fire, the heart and strength of the valley.
She binds the leaf, strengthening it against the wind.
At her command, the dawn comes forth.
The spirits themselves call her friend.

When evil comes, she is it’s bane,
And cast it back from whence it came.
To the beneath, a place of sorrows,
Like endless death and no tomorrows.

Issue 1
 

maybe i’m coming around, but it might be cool to have the entire issue narrated by the bad guy.

we seem to like the name Titans for the bad guys, but who are they fighting? How about this: The Titans of the Beneath vs The A[…..sth] of the Above. very Dawn war-ish without being obv gods vs primordials. Titans are beings of chaos, the A… of Order. Angels sounds too cliche or cute. Anarchs sounds like Anarchy, its just a word I came up with but I like the -arch ending. Seraphs or another biblical-ish word for Angels might fly though. Serarch? Tenarch? i dunno.

Anyway, his narration would be interesting in that it could be very neutral, but at the end, when the Guardian utters his “The seal is breached….” the narrator could say “I have found them!”

Issue 1
 

how about Archon?

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The entire issue? Hmm… how would that work with the flashback? I think some for sure, like the intro and ritual pages.

Issue 1
elwoodtoast

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